In general, what happens when a woman is raped? I'm talking about the whole package of events, from the vicious violation to the - what exactly? - in the future? The rape can be a street crime, a drug crime, a result of date rape, a violent physical assault that leads to and ends in rape, the planned assault of a serial perpetrator, spousal abuse, etc. It can even be from a woman who was maybe out for the night, having a good time, things get out of hand, she says no and he won't have that. A wide variety of the original event.
The violent act is done in a limited period of time. The aftermath continues, and most of it is intertwined with the trauma. A woman is raped, may or may not want to report the rape. For the one who does, she is taken to the hospital and again suffers under the humility of an exam, pictures taken, swabs taken, police report, suspect arrested (if we all in society are fortunate!), woman views lineup, does or doesn't identify rapist, interviewed by prosecutor's office, DNA tests if available, testimony in court, cross-examination by a lawyer trying to get client off, trying to retain composure throughout the trial. Awaiting the verdict, which guilty or not-guilty carry their own string of issues. Support groups. Counseling. Supportive friends and family.
I'm a woman. I've known women who have had abortions, I've known women who were raped. Three to be exact. One of those did have a resulting pregnancy. She was married. Yeah, she was married to a man. Believe me, that many suffered damn near to what she did. He was with her every step of the way.
Do not assume that a man is incapable for having compassion and concern for a woman who is going through this, simple because he is a man. When they discovered she was pregnant, chronologically they were able to determine the pregnancy was nearly 100% probably resulting from the rape.
To make a long story short, the overweening fact determining their decision to follow through, have the baby, keep the baby, and raise the baby was the simple knowledge that regardless, it was HER child.
That daughter graduated from high school five years ago. And you know, I don't think there was a shred of the memory of the pain and violence of her forced impregnation. There was too much love, joy, pride and hope for this daughter.
The daughter was the second of four siblings. Her older sister and two younger brothers were loved no more than she. An additional and special irony is that this daughter is the one who gave the couple their first grandchild just a month ago.
From a woman devastated by a home breaking and entry, robbery, beating and rape, she is a testimony of all that is good, strong and worthwhile in humanity. In particular, she is a true "profile in courage" of the indomitable spirit of women throughout time in the very most dire of circumstances.
If it were me? I'd hope to have the courage to follow exactly in her steps, from start to finish.
