Yeah... me wanna hear it!
Allright, I understand why America is bizarro world, I understand where we whent wrong. I know how America turned crazy. Jimmy Carter's big wimpout in the hostage crisis is what did it.
That's what drove America crazy.
We had the bad luck to have as president during the hostage crisis, this freak, Jimmy Carter. What a piece of work he was. Americans knew he was a Christian, but they didn't know he was the kind of pacifist Christian that actually believed in turning the other cheek when you're hit. All our presidents were churchgoers, but I don't think we've ever had a president who actually bought that nonsense, and I hope that we never do again. Nixon, for example, was a Quaker but he wasn't exactly what you'd call a "pacifist."
Now its real easy to just blame the Democrats, but but before Carter our Democrat presidents had been damn fine war leaders. Wilson, FDR, Truman, when it was time to fight they went in with both fists flying. Even LBJ can't be faulted for squeamishness. He may not have fought smart in Nam, but he was no peacenik, turn-the-other-cheek freak.
Carter was a whole different animal from those guys. He didn't threaten the hostage takers, he "negotiated." Meaning, he begged. "Please, Mister Khomeini, can we have our hostages back?"
It must have been the lowest point in American history.
And Carter settled for embargoing oil from Iran. Meaning my parents had to pay double for gas. Oh, and he froze some of their assets. Which must've really hurt, because now that oil prices shot up, the mullahs were rolling in rials.
Americans didn't know it then, but Carter was some sort of sick Gandhi mutant version of a Southern Baptist. The most expensive armed forces in history were just dying to make those bearded bastards pay, (Ask Roker), and Carter sat back and tried talking to them nicely. We could have done things that would make our name feared throughout history. We could have made them forget Genghis Khan, who was responsible for turning Eastern Iran into the moonscape it still is today.
Imagine if Carter had just announced that we were going to nuke Khomeini's "holy city," Qum, if the hostages weren't released. And do it. Then announce we were going to nuke another, bigger city-and do it. And keep doing it, going from smaller to bigger Iranian cities until Tehran was the only one left. Then, if the idiots didn't let the hostages go, sadly announce that all the hostages were brutally butchered, and seal Tehran underneath hot, radioactive glass.
I guarantee you we wouldn't be having our current problems if we'd done that 25 years ago.
Ever since then, America has been so scared of sounding weak that we keep falling for the chickenhawks who woof the loudest, even when it's obvious they don't have a clue about war or national power.
Just compare the two Bushes: Bush Senior engineered our greatest victory since 1945 in Gulf War One, and he was voted out. He was a real vet, a pilot who'd been shot down in WW II, but he didn't know how to strut, how to woof. People didn't take to him, and didn't care that he brought us a glorious victory. He couldn't woof, so we got rid of him.
Whereas people still love his worthless son, even though that fool has led us into our most disastrous military failure in history. They'd rather have a noisy chickenhawk than a quiet hero, they'd rather have Dubya than his dad.
The trouble is that guys who are good at woofing generally believe their own noise. So Dubya actually believes all that "bring it on!" crap. His dad, the real hero, warned him not to occupy Iraq. Dad was an old style paleocon; he was thinking about keeping America strong and safe during and after the war. Dubya and his handlers don't give a damn about America, never did. They're in love with their own noise. And we're in love with it too, following it right down the toilet.
It didn't have to be this way. If any other president we ever had had been in the Oval Office when the hostage crisis went down, we'd have had the Mullahs begging us to take back our diplomats and Khomeini's "holy city" of Qum would be a lake of molten glass, or at the very least a bombed out rubble. But we had Jimmy Carter, a man who once got attacked by a rabbit. And that's what drove us into the arms of sleazy neo conmen like Cheney and Dubya, who know too much about how to fool the suckers back home and not a damn thing about the big, bad world.
And who suckered us into invading Iraq? You guessed it: Iran, by sending double agents like Chalabi to tell the Neocons it was going to be a "cakewalk." Meanwhile, our forces are so bogged down by an Iranian influenced insurgency that we really can't threaten Iran anymore. They're still ****ing with America, and ****ing us hard.
Now all Iran has to do is wait a few years and stroll into the oil fields of Basra. Without firing a shot, Iran gets all of Shi'ite Iraq, 60% of the Iraqi population and two thirds of the oil reserves. And America will be stuck with even more shrill chickenhawks pissing the nation's power and might away.
The result: Game, set and match to the Mullahs.
