Spitzer is Linked to Prostitution Ring

[Andy]

Certainly...and having a few hundred large in the bank makes pursuing those other things much easier.

I heard this a long time ago. 90% of rich people are unhappy, and 90% of poor people waste their lives wishing to be rich. I've yet to meet a single person that was happy because of their bank account. Most of the happy people I've met are the one who have one special person in their lives that is bonded with them in marriage for life.

 

[Jarlaxle]

And 90% of all statistics are 100% unadulterated crap. I've seen enough miserable marriages to know better than think it's needed for a happy life.

 

[Andy]

And 90% of all statistics are 100% unadulterated crap. I've seen enough miserable marriages to know better than think it's needed for a happy life.

The average life span of a relationship where you sleep with someone without moving in together is 3 months. The average life span of a live-in relationship without marriage is 3 years.

The chances of experiencing infidelity in marriage goes up 50X the moment you sleep with someone outside of marriage, even if the person is the one you marry.

Yes there are many bad marriages, and usually one can point to prior choices, promiscuous activity, that comes back to haunt you in your marriage. A while ago I read a book by a marriage counselor who state he can tell generally whether a couple had moved in together prior to marriage by the types of problems they have. He stated "If you wish to have problems in your marriage, just live together before hand. The longer you live together unmarried, the more problems you'll have in marriage"

So no, getting married doesn't prevent you from having problems. But shacking up and co-habituating nearly guaranties problems.

 

[Jarlaxle]

The most miserable marriage I ever saw was between 2 people who had never lived together before marrying. Two miserable people raised two miserable children.

My wife and I have been dating since high school. We lived together for about a year, and have been married 12 (as of yesterday, in fact). Problems? Sure...all relationships do. Still happy together? Absolutely.

 

[Andy]

The most miserable marriage I ever saw was between 2 people who had never lived together before marrying. Two miserable people raised two miserable children.

My wife and I have been dating since high school. We lived together for about a year, and have been married 12 (as of yesterday, in fact). Problems? Sure...all relationships do. Still happy together? Absolutely.

Great, I'm glad for anyone that succeeds. Truth is, most do not. When I survey the relationships I've known in my life, 13/14 of move-in unmarried relationships, failed. Which ironically is around 90%, right where the research said it would be. Nine out of Ten move-in unmarried couples fail, and the average is 3 years. Of the 10% that make it, most marry quickly within a year of moving in. The one couple I know that made it, married within months.

You would be the second couple that I know of that made it, and how ironic, you fit the pattern completely. 13/15 failed is still around 90%, and you got married in a year, right as the statics say would happen in order to survive.

As for the couple you know that was miserable, there is tons of other information that would be needed to make a real conclusion. Even then, I stated before, marriage does not promise perfection, but your odds are way better.

But look, if you don't want to believe the stereotypes, and say all statistics are crap, that's fine. But those who forget the past, are doomed to repeat it. Statistics are just a measurement of the past. When you teach your children, and they roll the dice on 'playing house' with someone, they may not be so lucky to get into the 10% you did. It's up to you to raise your children.