I go for Option C.
Dress in a flight suit, stand in front of a banner labeled "Mission Accomplished" and hold a press conference.
Works everytime.
I can't believe everyone missed the whole point about the "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" banner.
It had nothing to do with the Iraq war. It's been highly reported Bush ducked a lot of drug tests back when he was in the Texas Air National Guard and from time to time he'd stop attending all together by having his family & friends pull strings so he could go help them campaign.
The "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" was that he didn't drive the plane into the side of the ship!