did I suggest otherwise ? of course not. but it is interesting to see you knee jerk on it.
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ran its course
- Thread starter dogtowner
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did I suggest otherwise ? of course not. but it is interesting to see you knee jerk on it.
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I don't think you understood what Daw was saying.
What he met by his comment is that people make promise to the person they want to marry. . .when actually, they most often know that person VERY little, whether they are blinded by their lust, their own rose color glasses, or the supreme efforts made by their "loved one" to show their best side and their good intention. . .while it lasts.
And, even if they know each other quite well, even if they had time (and the will) to see through the artifices of new love to the reality that lies behind the rose color glasses, that person will not stay static. . .that person WILL change, will evolve.
Therefore, for most of us, the person we say "yes" to, is and will remain a stranger for quite a while, maybe for ever if we are not very attuned, or not very interested, or too self-centered to even care about what that person REALLY is, as long as we get what we want out of the deal!
No, it doesn't demand failure. . .but it certainly explains a lot of failures.
And this coming from a "success story" in this matter!
he said
he was trying to tie his favorite subject into it so I thought he needed to know how it really works.
Openmind
Well-Known Member
Well, I don't think I'm the only one finding it kind of strange that out of ALL the headlines, and all the broken marriages, YOU manage to focus on ONE marriage that happens to be "non-traditional" and quite rare. . .especially when the headlines are filled with the controversy of Prop 8 and the decision of circuit 9th court!
Do you really think everyone in this forum is stupid? Well, most of us are not!
Face up to it, Doggie. . .it's okay to make a mistake. It's ridiculous and immature to try to spin it as "someone else's prejudice!"
Openmind
Well-Known Member
That "someone who doesn't exist" is the "the image of the person that he THINKS exists, the person he THINKS he fell in love with." That person, too often, only exists in one's dream and expectations, and has very little resemblance with the TRUE person that stands in front of him while they take their vows.
Come on, dude, you are smarter than that. . .aren't you?
I'm not focusing on the marriage, I'm focusing on the attitude toward marriage expressed.
As originally noted there is nothing newsworthy to me about a divorce.
Any mistake is yours as I've been very clear about this. If you don't care to address the topic fine but there is no need to divert the thread to what you seem to prefer to talk about. We have other threads you can expand on the 9th's recent decision in if you wish. Staying on topic is a rule after all if seldom enforced.
Openmind
Well-Known Member
Dear, I believe I have addressed the topic at length. . .and in a much more realistic manner than you have!
It sounds to me like you are taking that comment (about the marriage "running its course") very hard. . .Are you having difficulties. . .are YOU in need of some counseling?
Don't try to play "BIG MOD" with me. . .You can ban me any day, any time. . .but you can't play though guy with me.
I DIDN"T get away from the OP. . .and YOU KNOW I didn't.
In fact, I answered that SPECIFIC concern of yours in a very personal and very thorough manner.
If you don't like it. . .go take a break. . .or ban me!
well you have at least gotten in same area code as the OP. yes I find the comment disturbing in it's assumption of failure. it you can't see why I find it disturbing then that would seem to indicate you have the same assumption. if thats the case you could have said as much in your first post.
Openmind
Well-Known Member
I have never drifted away from the OP. And if you do not like my commentary on marriage and relationship. . .that's your problem, not mine.
It has worked for me (I would say that almost 41 years of marriage to the same person is a testimony of that), and it seems to be working for my son (for a young couple, a 16 year anniversary is also quite a statement of commitment and responsibility).
By the way, you may be a mod. . .but I do not believe it gives YOU the right to decide how a poster should express his/her feelings, or his/her opinion.
Get down from your self created pedestal. . .I am NOT impressed.
I'm glad for you that you've remained married but is has nothing to do with the OP.
My job as a mod is to see that the three rules Walter made for HOP are followed.
3. Post to the correct forum and stay on topic.
Everyone is free (upon registration) to create threads about whatever and to express themselves within the context of the thread.
If you started a thread about how swell Belgium is and I started taking about the antics of the Belgian Malinois I saw at the dog park I would have to warn myself about it. The breed originated there but that individual dog, almost certainly bred here, is not germain.
Openmind
Well-Known Member
Sorry, dear mod. . .but apparently you are the one who is totally off topic at this time!
I have answered specifically to your OP. . .and questionned why you had selected to use the "gay couple divorce" among all others.
You said you were only interested in why the person (gay or not) had expressed himself that way about "a marriage running its course,"
I explained my point of view of what that "marriage running its course" could mean, and why it made sense to me.
Where can you accuse me of not staying in the context of this thread?
It is NOT because you don't like my answer that it is out of context, or off topic.
Now, this answer is off topic. . .because YOU took us there by more of your silly threats!
If you wish to ban me, go ahead. . .you don't need any excuses. But stop hiding behind fake excuses that I have (supposedly) been ignoring the "on topic" rule!
And. . .just for your information (since YOU took us off topic!). . . a BERGER MALINOIS, whether it is born in Germany or the USA would NEVER be German. . . because it is a BELGIAN breed, not a GERMAN breed! You see, Maline is a BELGIAN town, not German, not French, but BELGIAN!
Now. . .get off my back and stop harrassing me, or ban me and be done with it!
I said germain not german. I apologize for spelling it wrong should have been germane.
GenSeneca
Well-Known Member
Mmmm... Belgian waffles.
Marriage vows, like our constitution, have been ignored so frequently that people do seem to consider it as a symbolic ritual and not something of significant importance.
Marriage vows, like our constitution, have been ignored so frequently that people do seem to consider it as a symbolic ritual and not something of significant importance.
certainly they are not taken seriously by the individuals or the civil authorities (no-fault divirce). It just seemed to have taken the deterioration a step farther with assumed failure.
Gipper
Well-Known Member
You mean some people think that way...liberals mostly.
I take my marriage vows as a commitment to my wife and my God. I have and never will breach them. This is much like I view the Constitution.
It is too bad so many Americans do not think like me...it was not this way some years ago...but, everything the Left touches, they ultimately destroy.
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well there are obviously people all over the political spectrum who take marriage rather casually.
and its true regarding the last sentence as M.Thatcher pointed out years ago regarding the result of socialists running out of other people's money.
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