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Jokes from an administration in disarray

Discussion in 'Political Humor' started by reedak, Jun 8, 2020.

  1. reedak

    reedak Well-Known Member

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    Joke 13

    1. North Korean state media released a series of photos of Kim Jong Un visiting a potato farm, suggesting he may have opted to visit the farm instead of meeting with Secretary of State Mike Pompeo....

    The photos come after several tense exchanges between North Korea and Pompeo following his visit, which was meant to shore up details of the agreement signed by Kim and President Trump at the close of their summit last month.

    Pompeo met with several North Korean officials, but not with Kim.

    North Korea said after the follow-up talks that the meetings with Pompeo were “regrettable,” and accused the U.S. of using “gangster-like” tactics to push denuclearization....

    Source: https://thehill.com/policy/internat...ia-release-photos-of-kim-at-potato-farm-after

    2. Herein I coin the term "pompato" for a rogue politician who uses “gangster-like” tactics to push his demands. :)
     
  2. reedak

    reedak Well-Known Member

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    Joke 14

    1. ..."Despite the call from the UN secretary general for easing the pressure of sanctions under pandemic conditions, Washington like Brussels decided to prolong measures against Syria," Putin said during a televised meeting with his Iranian and Turkish counterparts on Syria.

    "In addition, new sanctions presumably aimed at economically suffocating Syria have been adopted," he said during the video conference with Iran's Hassan Rouhani and Turkey's Recep Tayyip Erdogan....

    Source: https://www.barrons.com/news/putin-slams-new-us-sanctions-aimed-at-suffocating-syria-01593607505

    2. If the US could suffocate Syria, it will be really glad to do so. Unfortunately for America, it could not get rid of the oxygen in the atmosphere above Syria. Hence the outcome for the Syrians under the new sanctions would be a slow death from starvation rather than an instant death from suffocation like George Floyd.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_of_George_Floyd

    Herein I coin the term "shamtion" to denote "a malicious action, usually economic in nature, taken either unilaterally or collectively against a country or a government under the false pretext of high-sounding moralism to help or save its people from tyranny but ironically starving a large proportion of them to death besides creating long periods of social, economic and political turbulence in the country. (e.g. Syria)

    As a verb, "shamtion" means "to impose a 'shamtion' on a country or a government".
     
  3. reedak

    reedak Well-Known Member

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    Joke 15

    1. ...Hof, the owner of several legal brothels including the Love Ranch and the Moonlite BunnyRanch, died in his sleep at the age of 72 on Oct. 16, four months after winning the Republican primary for his district. On Tuesday, unofficial results from the Nevada Secretary of State showed him beating Democrat Lesia Romanov with 63 percent of the vote.

    ....On Tuesday, when the Pahrump Valley Times asked readers if they had voted for Hof or Romanov, one Facebook commenter responded that he had voted for Hof because “a dead Republican beats a female Democrat any day.”...

    Source: https://nationalpost.com/news/world...hrump-has-won-a-state-assembly-seat-in-nevada

    2. With regard to the claim that “a dead Republican beats a female Democrat any day”, one may wonder whether a Republican corpse could beat Nancy Patricia Pelosi, the Speaker of the United States House of Representatives, in an election.

    Commenting on the dead pimp's election victory, I coin the term "demortcracy" to denote the "the most rotten form of democracy -- as rotten as human remains -- that could not be found elsewhere in the world".
     
  4. reedak

    reedak Well-Known Member

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    Joke 16

    1. Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe centers on a character who, arguably, is the embodiment of The Colonist Mentality, as evidenced by his interactions with, and perception of, the native cannibals he encounters while visiting an ‘undiscovered’ island. The protagonist, Crusoe, initially plans to murder the natives, but decides against it, writing that its inhabitants do not “know” their acts are criminal.....

    However, the work is worth revisiting because of its relevance to today’s instances of Xenophobia, the valuing and devaluing of particular cultures and norms, and the notion that one culture should reign over another. Crusoe’s Colonist Mentality lives on.

    Source: https://ruminationgarden.org/2016/0...n-world-the-valuing-and-devaluing-of-culture/

    2. After decades of doldrums, Robinson Crusoe's Colonist Mentality and Xenophobia resurfaced in America in 2016 when Trump propagated his "Make America Great Again" (MAGA) policy whose roots could be traced to Navarro's anti-China books based on a fake character which is actually his own alter ego.
     
  5. reedak

    reedak Well-Known Member

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    Joke 17

    1. The US has been accused of redirecting 200,000 Germany-bound masks for its own use, in a move condemned as "modern piracy".

    The local government in Berlin said the shipment of US-made masks was "confiscated" in Bangkok.

    The FFP2 masks, which were ordered by Berlin's police force, did not reach their destination, it said.

    Andreas Geisel, Berlin's interior minister, said the masks were presumably diverted to the US.....

    Source: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-52161995

    2. Berlin's interior minister Andreas Geisel accused the US of "modern piracy" over the redirection of 200,000 Germany-bound masks for its own use. He urged the Trump administration to adhere to international trading rules.

    According to the Buddha, "An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind."

    The Germans would tell their so-called ally to its face: "Schade!" (Shame on you!)

    3. French regional leaders say they are struggling to secure medical supplies as American buyers outbid them.

    As pointed out by Aesop, "Betray a friend and you’ll often find you have ruined yourself."

    Similarly the French would protest against their so-called ally: "Dommage!" (What a shame!)

    https://www.wiseoldsayings.com/fake-friends-quotes/

    4. The US "act of modern piracy" is reminiscent of the ruthlessness of a pirate chief in my political satire of "The Old Man of the Mountain" series. He was so self-centred and brutal that he spared nobody on the ship, not even his "dearest best friend", as shown in the following story:

    Narrator: After walking many miles along a coastal area, the priest found a middle-aged man lying on a sandy beach. He seemed to be unconscious and his clothes were heavily clogged with water. The priest squatted down and patted him gently on the shoulder. After a while, the man slowly opened his eyes.

    Priest: Dude, why are you lying here?

    Middle-aged man: I have been drifting in the sea, I suppose, for several days.

    Priest: Please elaborate on how you end up lying here.

    Middle-aged man: I came from a remote pirate stronghold which was besieged by government troops, I think, about a week ago. After a fierce battle, the pirate chief nicknamed Captain Shrimp Roe and 19 other pirates managed to escape from the island in a small boat. Before boarding the boat, Captain Shrimp Roe gave an order that nobody, except himself and two other pirate lords, was allowed to carry weapons onboard.

    On the way to another island, a storm appeared out of nowhere and the boat was tossed about in the huge waves. Captain Shrimp Roe ordered the other two pirate lords to draw their swords, saying: "To put it simply, we are standing at the crossroads of immense promise and great peril. It is entirely up to us whether we lift ourselves to new heights above the waves or let ourselves suck into the maelstrom of disrepair. As the chief of the pirates, I will always put our gang first.

    In order to survive the storm, we have to reduce the load on the boat. Both of you have to force the unarmed men to jump into the sea. You should know how to deal with them if they put up stubborn resistance.”

    Priest: So you were one of the unarmed pirates thrown overboard to lighten the boat, but you are lucky enough to survive in the end.

    Middle-aged man: No, I am not an ordinary pirate but a pirate lord. As I was third in the leadership lineup, I had to obey Captain Shrimp Roe's command. The other pirate lord and I had no choice but help him slay all those unarmed pirates who refused to jump overboard.

    Priest: Please tell me how you end up drifting in the sea.

    Middle-aged man: At first, I thought the bloodshed was over with only three men remained onboard. Captain Shrimp Roe, however, said: "It's not over because the storm is not over. As a human, I will always put myself first, just like you, as humans, will always, and should always, put yourselves first."

    Priest: I suppose you and the other pirate lord had engaged in a life-and-death struggle with Captain Shrimp Roe before you ended up drifting in the sea.

    Middle-aged man: In the final battle, three of us stood on the boat with our swords drawn. The other two were standing at each end of the boat, while I was the unfortunate one to stand between them. Captain Shrimp Roe told me: "My dearest best friend, I can't bear to kill you with my own hands. Among the three of us, you are the least-skilled in swordsmanship, but you are the best swimmer of the gang. Hence you have a better chance of survival if you choose to jump overboard than to die under my sword."

    While I was hesitating whether to swim or fight, I did not notice that he was inching towards me. Suddenly he gave me a kick and I fell overboard. I let go of my sword, and swam as hard as I could to stay atop the huge waves. As I drifted further and further away from the boat, the last thing I heard was the noise of clashing swords, shouting and yelling.

    Priest: Do you know who the final victor is?

    Middle-aged man: God knows. I was fortunate enough to cling to a piece of driftwood in the choppy seas. I was in a semi-conscious state, losing all sense of time. When I felt my body hitting something hard, I found myself lying here. I suppose I have been washed up ashore after drifting for several days in the sea. I was so exhausted that I fell into a deep slumber until I felt your warm hand on my shoulder.
     
  6. reedak

    reedak Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]

    The pompato is impaled while fishing in troubled waters.

    Source: http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/a/202007/15/WS5f0e3fa0a31083481725974f.html
     
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2020
  7. reedak

    reedak Well-Known Member

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    Joke 18

    1. Dr. Anthony Fauci has a good bedside manner with the public, but he has been wrong about everything I have interacted with him on.

    In late January, when I was making the case on behalf of the president to take down the flights from China, Fauci fought against the president’s courageous decision — which might well have saved hundreds of thousands of American lives....

    So when you ask me whether I listen to Dr. Fauci’s advice, my answer is: only with skepticism and caution.

    Source: https://www.usatoday.com/story/opin...-peter-navarro-editorials-debates/5439374002/

    2. "Jack of all trades, master of none" is a figure of speech used in reference to a person who has dabbled in many skills, rather than gaining expertise by focusing on one.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_of_all_trades,_master_of_none

    3. Herein, I coin the term "vararon" for a "Jack of all trades but master of none". Would you entrust your life to a vararon instead of a neurosurgeon for your brain surgery?
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2020
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